And so we flew back to the states on November 4. Exhausted after a long but sleepless flight, I crawled into bed, ready to sleep for at least a good ten hours.
Instead, however, I found myself waking up every hour or two, desperate for the bathroom. Which was strange because I never had to wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I thought nothing of it because I was just days away from getting my period, and I had already had some cramping, my usual signal that Aunt Flo's arrival is imminent.
A few days passed, and the cramping continued, but with no other indications of PMS, not even a nice little mood swing. I did experience some hot flashes, and I got motion sickness every day riding the Metro to and from work, but these things were not firsts for me.
And then it happened, totally by accident. I stepped out of the shower one morning and just happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was my face, but it was definitely not my chest. And so I knew immediately there was a baby in my belly.
On Wednesday, November 14, after several days of increasing nausea, I bought a twin pack of pregnancy tests at CVS. When I got home, I went upstairs to confirm what my swollen breasts had already told me. I was pregnant.
If I really wanted to, I'm sure I could have come up with quite a list of reasons why this was not the right time. But in that moment, I knew that there could not possibly be a better time.
That little life inside me, unplanned and announced only by a sudden aversion to peanuts and poultry and by me finally, after 28 years, achieving a B-cup, meant the world to me. And it only took a second.